How i grew, and why time is our friend!
Hello readers,
Yall know I'm a writer. That is what this blog was started on. But I want this blog to be a personal area, where I can teach others and inspire others with my story!
Today I have a lot on my mind. My husband and I are about to embark on the next journey of our life together and I want to take you all on this journey with us! I am not only a writer, but I am a mother, a wife and a lifelong dreamer! I am totally sold on the idea that once you set your mind to your dreams, that you can achieve them, no matter how crazy they are or how far away they seem.
Here is a little back story of my life: I am a product of a split marriage. Which honestly I felt like it didn't effect me a whole lot, seeing as i was a baby when their marriage ended. But, from a psychological standpoint, i know that isn't true. ( Im not an expert in psychology, but I did take 2 years of it to obtain my associates degree :) )
I went through a lot emotionally, and ended up also being physically as well. My mother went on to get married another 5 times, and having 4 more children. When I would go around her, she would treat me as if I was an outcast. Ending up eventually becoming violent and hateful towards me. On top of that, my father worked all the time, so much that I hardly got to spend time with him. My grandma ended up raising me most of the time. My home life was isolated. I spent time in my room, with my door shut, watching tv. While my grandma was in the living room watching her soaps, and my dad in his room watching his t.v. We hardly ever, and I mean EVER did things together.
I'm not telling this story to get sympathy. I'm telling yall my story so that you can see where I come from. There is more.....
When I got into my teen years, lets say around 16-17 that is when I started to rebel. I snuck out of the house, I drank illegally. I dated many guys. I was in constant search of "Mr. Right" but only falling for all the "Mr. Wrongs" When I as 16 I dated a really sweet guy for, I don't know, maybe a few days? Well, he was really into me but I wasn't feeling mutual. So we ended things. I had my heart set on another, but that relationship was complicated. Him and I had a mutual friend and that friend (who WAS my best friend) had a open crush on him and we didn't want to hurt her feelings. So, that was that.
Remember the guy that I dated for a few days that was a really good guy? He ended up getting in a motorcycle accident and lost his life. I was devastated, and blamed myself. I felt that if I just gave him a chance maybe he would of been with me instead of on that bike without a helmet!
I went to his wake and when I was there.. my "Best friend" you know the one made the other relationship complicated? Ya, her. She came up to me at my Ex's wake and told me that it was my fault that he died! As if I didn't feel horrible enough as it was!
That, on top of my mother issues, on top of feeling like I had no one in the world that was in my corner... caused me to become suicidal. I remember I would lay in my room and cry, I would cry myself to sleep.
I ended up searching for the love and affection from men (well, boys then lol) to soothe the ache inside my soul. I didn't have Jesus in my life. Matter in fact, I was an atheist. I believed more in revolution.
I met a guy... he gave just the right amount of attention, while also having an issue that the helping soul inside me thought I could fix. He had a drug addiction. This is my oldest daughters father.
LONG story short... I tried helping him, SO much.. but instead of me pulling him out of the hole, he was pulling me in. I had to cut ties, even though that was the hardest and longest drawn out process ive ever had to go through. I loved him.. he loved drugs. He wanted a baby, I gave him one. It wasn't enough. Through the whole process,... I started to feel god!
A relationship between me and my childhood sweetheart began to bloom. He was the boy next door. Always a crush of mine.. I remember being 12 years old, shooting him with a BBgun because he crossed over in my yard: and this voice came in my head telling me I was going to marry him one day. I laughed at it at the time, and kind of cringed. lol
He is a wonderful man. Ive been with him for 12 years now. I put him through SO much. Like I stated above, it took a long time for me to get over my daughters dad. He stuck by me through all of the years, all of the lies, secrets and deception. I kept telling myself I didn't love him, because I wanted to be with my Childs father.. we split up during that time, and when I seen him start to date again.. I about lost my mind, so.. I was so obviously lying to myself.
Basically where I am getting at with all of this.... is this:
When I was in High school I had plans: I wanted to be a writer, a famous writer! I wanted to go to college. Instead I met a guy who talked me into having a baby and dropping out of high school.
I chose the wrong path.. but the wrong path doesn't mean that its the end of your journey and dreams!
2008- I had a blood clot in my LUNG, god gave me another chance!
2010- I had a miscarriage.
2011- I had a healthy baby boy!
2012- another healthy baby boy!
During this time.. times were hard. We were living in an apartment that we now had outgrown. Neither of us had a job, we were living under the assistance of the government completely. I felt stuck. I felt helpless.. I felt ridiculous! I should of been this... I should of been that.... could of done this... blah blah.. I had all of those feelings! My husband (boyfriend at the time) wouldn't work .. he was super shy! I say was now.. because he has since grown tremendously!
2013- We moved into a small town house. Very small.. but it would do! I got a part time job as a dietary aid. (didn't enjoy it at all.. but it was money!) I shortly after applied for a custodian job and got hired! Which was awesome because it was right down the road! I also got my GED this year!
I knew I wanted to go to college, I didn't know what for or why.. I just knew I did! I would write on occasion, poems and short stories.. but nothing more than that. I was buys with kids and my job!
2014- I started college! I got baptized! I got married! This was a very full year!! I was also building my credit and paying off bills that I had accumulated over the years.
2015- Bought our first house with a mortgage! I found another job that was now closer to our new home. Decided I didn't want to work anymore.. told husband to find a job (LOL) he was doing the stay at home dad life, with the occasional working for a local business on a Friday here and there.
2016- I became a stay at home mom and gave birth to a healthy baby girl! Life was good and starting to turn around! We had 1/2 acre home for our children to run free (in the fence) on! It felt amazing!
2017- received my associates degree in psychology! still couldn't decide what I wanted to "Do" with my life.. or my education. I had all kinds of ideas.. I even had a part time job for a little bit, but I didn't want to work outside of the home anymore. I missed my babies. Not to mention, daycare for 4 children isn't cheap! I started really researching gardening, sustainable living, different home building options, ect… all kinds of different things. I never was a "normal" person.. lol. I haven't ever wanted to be like everyone else. So when I started learning about alternative ways to live.. I thought that was amazing! I began writing mystical bounty.. but then shortly after.. put it on hold.
2018- I was still very heavy into my research of fresh, clean living. Learning about our broken food system, as well as environmental situations that are being impacted by us humans. I wanted to live a more simple life. I wanted to have a way of sustaining my family in the case of anything happening. first thing I thought of was this huge mortgage that we had just taken on. Which in all honesty.. it wasn't huge. It was only $78,000.. but to me that was a LOT of money! The more I read and learned.. I wanted to be free of all huge amounts hanging over our heads. Security... you cant have security if you don't own it. So I set out to find ways to pay it off faster. At the end of the year, I got a job at a mental health center. Working Midnights. while my husband worked days. We hardly ever seen each other.
2019- The job only lasted about 5 months. Oct 2018- Feb 2019. My health took a turn for the worse and my womanly hormones' were actually attacking my body because my immune system was failing. Lack of sleep and adequate nutrition was taking me over. I would only get maybe 4 hours of sleep a day.. I was eating fast food most of the time, or gas station food. I wasn't coping very well at all. But, in the process we were making good money and I managed to buy a lot of awesome books to teach me a lot of skills I hoped to learn! I had to weigh the pros and cons tho, I wasn't getting enough time with my kids (and that's the reason I got a midnight job, was so I could be there) But your not there when you are a zombie! So, I quit. My health dramatically changed over the months and was back on track and I was feeling great again! Back on my path of researching.... I sat down and talked with my husband (whom I hadn't had a lot of time with before due to the job) and we decided to sell our house, and get property in Missouri! We bought a camper and planned on staying in that until we got the means to getting us a house built. Now, this could of been an amazing journey! But.... idk.. it didn't pan out that way. Sometimes life takes you a different direction.
So, MAY came around and our house was SOLD!!!! So.. we went looking for a house that was away from where we were, but still close to my husbands work. we got $30,000 cash from our house after the pay off.. and we found only ONE house that was available within our budget (god?) I have a saying that I say when I feel god is responsible for what happens in our lives now, ("I'm pretty sure that was a god thing!") Maybe I say it.. and am awkward about it still? Idk.. I know that my faith has grown tremendously since we have arrived here, so I know we are on the right path. This house was rough when we first moved in.. I actually have a youtube channel called blossom valley ranch and you can check out what I am talking about. I'm also on facebook under Bradley homestead. This house wasn't livable when we got here. We had $10,000 left over to put into it, to make it livable. We got the electric turned on, and lived in our camper for a couple weeks until my husband did his magic and fixed all the plumbing and we cleaned it out, did all the tests it needed done for safety. Then we all moved into the ONE room that was ready to go. lol! All 6 of us were sleeping in what is now, the living room. We will forever have that memory! :) The septic wasn't good.. but we had to deal with that for the time being because our repair money was drained. Once we were somewhat settled, I started writing my book again!!
2020- As you all know.. this year started off, going to be OUR YEAR!! I'm sure yall can relate?? Ya.. then this amazingly small nuisance came into our lives called Covid-19. Now honestly.. it hasn't effected us that bad. My husbands job is considered essential, but for safety they let him take off about a month (which set our bills and plans back a bit)
In March, I finished my book and I published it on amazon! That was one of the best, most satisfying feelings I have ever felt in my entire life. Something I felt I would never be able to do.. I DID IT!
And today, I just completed Day 1, of my LAST class EVER!! In another four weeks, I will have my bachelors degree in business management! It has been a LONG 6 years! That is one chapter in my life closing.
*1st book published ✔️
*Graduate ✔️
*own paid off home ✔️
If you would have talked to me back in 2008 and told me that today I would have all of this accomplished in my life.. I wouldn't believe you!
I share my story with you, to show you that anything is possible! Don't ever think that you cant do what you want to do.. or that what your dreaming of is too far out of reach! Because if you have determination and the will to do it, It will get DONE! You will make it! You can do it!
We can only do what we tell ourselves we can do! If you tell yourself you cant do something.. then you wont do it. You cant have that attitude!
My children are better people because they see that they have a mother who never gives up! Now, that's not saying I'm perfect.. because I'm not! I fail, I have bad days.. I have horrible days.. mood swings, depression still creeps in every now and then..
But its how you handle those situations that matters! If you just crawl into a ball and hide in a corner and let the darkness consume you.. you wont find the light.
But I assure you, once you find the light, the darkness cant touch you! It can try.. it can tempt you.. you have to FIGHT! Let the LIGHT become YOU!!
Jesus has open arms yall, he always an ear away!
All you have to do is take time and pray!
My newest dream, yet has been my lifelong dream.. is owning property.... I know.. I have property.
Not just any property... mountainous acreage property! When I was 15 my dad and I took a trip to Tennessee, and I left a huge chunk of my heart in the mountains! I felt at peace.. and I truly feel that now that I look back on it, god was trying to talk to me then. I feel the most spiritual when I'm in the mountains! And I want to live like that till I'm old and grey!
We don't know exactly what state we are going to grow roots in yet, but we do know that we want to rent out our house here eventually and move to that property and grow all old and stuff together, with our children and our farm animals and huge garden! I sit here and I talk about this now.. and just like in 2008 it seems so far away. But I know now what just a short time can do for someone! Its in gods hands and he knows the desires of my heart!
This was a really long story, and if you stuck around and read it all.. bless your heart and I hope I encouraged and inspired you! With much love, ill see yall next time. -Slbradley
Yall know I'm a writer. That is what this blog was started on. But I want this blog to be a personal area, where I can teach others and inspire others with my story!
Today I have a lot on my mind. My husband and I are about to embark on the next journey of our life together and I want to take you all on this journey with us! I am not only a writer, but I am a mother, a wife and a lifelong dreamer! I am totally sold on the idea that once you set your mind to your dreams, that you can achieve them, no matter how crazy they are or how far away they seem.
Here is a little back story of my life: I am a product of a split marriage. Which honestly I felt like it didn't effect me a whole lot, seeing as i was a baby when their marriage ended. But, from a psychological standpoint, i know that isn't true. ( Im not an expert in psychology, but I did take 2 years of it to obtain my associates degree :) )
I went through a lot emotionally, and ended up also being physically as well. My mother went on to get married another 5 times, and having 4 more children. When I would go around her, she would treat me as if I was an outcast. Ending up eventually becoming violent and hateful towards me. On top of that, my father worked all the time, so much that I hardly got to spend time with him. My grandma ended up raising me most of the time. My home life was isolated. I spent time in my room, with my door shut, watching tv. While my grandma was in the living room watching her soaps, and my dad in his room watching his t.v. We hardly ever, and I mean EVER did things together.
I'm not telling this story to get sympathy. I'm telling yall my story so that you can see where I come from. There is more.....
When I got into my teen years, lets say around 16-17 that is when I started to rebel. I snuck out of the house, I drank illegally. I dated many guys. I was in constant search of "Mr. Right" but only falling for all the "Mr. Wrongs" When I as 16 I dated a really sweet guy for, I don't know, maybe a few days? Well, he was really into me but I wasn't feeling mutual. So we ended things. I had my heart set on another, but that relationship was complicated. Him and I had a mutual friend and that friend (who WAS my best friend) had a open crush on him and we didn't want to hurt her feelings. So, that was that.
Remember the guy that I dated for a few days that was a really good guy? He ended up getting in a motorcycle accident and lost his life. I was devastated, and blamed myself. I felt that if I just gave him a chance maybe he would of been with me instead of on that bike without a helmet!
I went to his wake and when I was there.. my "Best friend" you know the one made the other relationship complicated? Ya, her. She came up to me at my Ex's wake and told me that it was my fault that he died! As if I didn't feel horrible enough as it was!
That, on top of my mother issues, on top of feeling like I had no one in the world that was in my corner... caused me to become suicidal. I remember I would lay in my room and cry, I would cry myself to sleep.
I ended up searching for the love and affection from men (well, boys then lol) to soothe the ache inside my soul. I didn't have Jesus in my life. Matter in fact, I was an atheist. I believed more in revolution.
I met a guy... he gave just the right amount of attention, while also having an issue that the helping soul inside me thought I could fix. He had a drug addiction. This is my oldest daughters father.
LONG story short... I tried helping him, SO much.. but instead of me pulling him out of the hole, he was pulling me in. I had to cut ties, even though that was the hardest and longest drawn out process ive ever had to go through. I loved him.. he loved drugs. He wanted a baby, I gave him one. It wasn't enough. Through the whole process,... I started to feel god!
A relationship between me and my childhood sweetheart began to bloom. He was the boy next door. Always a crush of mine.. I remember being 12 years old, shooting him with a BBgun because he crossed over in my yard: and this voice came in my head telling me I was going to marry him one day. I laughed at it at the time, and kind of cringed. lol
He is a wonderful man. Ive been with him for 12 years now. I put him through SO much. Like I stated above, it took a long time for me to get over my daughters dad. He stuck by me through all of the years, all of the lies, secrets and deception. I kept telling myself I didn't love him, because I wanted to be with my Childs father.. we split up during that time, and when I seen him start to date again.. I about lost my mind, so.. I was so obviously lying to myself.
Basically where I am getting at with all of this.... is this:
When I was in High school I had plans: I wanted to be a writer, a famous writer! I wanted to go to college. Instead I met a guy who talked me into having a baby and dropping out of high school.
I chose the wrong path.. but the wrong path doesn't mean that its the end of your journey and dreams!
2008- I had a blood clot in my LUNG, god gave me another chance!
2010- I had a miscarriage.
2011- I had a healthy baby boy!
2012- another healthy baby boy!
During this time.. times were hard. We were living in an apartment that we now had outgrown. Neither of us had a job, we were living under the assistance of the government completely. I felt stuck. I felt helpless.. I felt ridiculous! I should of been this... I should of been that.... could of done this... blah blah.. I had all of those feelings! My husband (boyfriend at the time) wouldn't work .. he was super shy! I say was now.. because he has since grown tremendously!
2013- We moved into a small town house. Very small.. but it would do! I got a part time job as a dietary aid. (didn't enjoy it at all.. but it was money!) I shortly after applied for a custodian job and got hired! Which was awesome because it was right down the road! I also got my GED this year!
I knew I wanted to go to college, I didn't know what for or why.. I just knew I did! I would write on occasion, poems and short stories.. but nothing more than that. I was buys with kids and my job!
2014- I started college! I got baptized! I got married! This was a very full year!! I was also building my credit and paying off bills that I had accumulated over the years.
2015- Bought our first house with a mortgage! I found another job that was now closer to our new home. Decided I didn't want to work anymore.. told husband to find a job (LOL) he was doing the stay at home dad life, with the occasional working for a local business on a Friday here and there.
2016- I became a stay at home mom and gave birth to a healthy baby girl! Life was good and starting to turn around! We had 1/2 acre home for our children to run free (in the fence) on! It felt amazing!
2017- received my associates degree in psychology! still couldn't decide what I wanted to "Do" with my life.. or my education. I had all kinds of ideas.. I even had a part time job for a little bit, but I didn't want to work outside of the home anymore. I missed my babies. Not to mention, daycare for 4 children isn't cheap! I started really researching gardening, sustainable living, different home building options, ect… all kinds of different things. I never was a "normal" person.. lol. I haven't ever wanted to be like everyone else. So when I started learning about alternative ways to live.. I thought that was amazing! I began writing mystical bounty.. but then shortly after.. put it on hold.
2018- I was still very heavy into my research of fresh, clean living. Learning about our broken food system, as well as environmental situations that are being impacted by us humans. I wanted to live a more simple life. I wanted to have a way of sustaining my family in the case of anything happening. first thing I thought of was this huge mortgage that we had just taken on. Which in all honesty.. it wasn't huge. It was only $78,000.. but to me that was a LOT of money! The more I read and learned.. I wanted to be free of all huge amounts hanging over our heads. Security... you cant have security if you don't own it. So I set out to find ways to pay it off faster. At the end of the year, I got a job at a mental health center. Working Midnights. while my husband worked days. We hardly ever seen each other.
2019- The job only lasted about 5 months. Oct 2018- Feb 2019. My health took a turn for the worse and my womanly hormones' were actually attacking my body because my immune system was failing. Lack of sleep and adequate nutrition was taking me over. I would only get maybe 4 hours of sleep a day.. I was eating fast food most of the time, or gas station food. I wasn't coping very well at all. But, in the process we were making good money and I managed to buy a lot of awesome books to teach me a lot of skills I hoped to learn! I had to weigh the pros and cons tho, I wasn't getting enough time with my kids (and that's the reason I got a midnight job, was so I could be there) But your not there when you are a zombie! So, I quit. My health dramatically changed over the months and was back on track and I was feeling great again! Back on my path of researching.... I sat down and talked with my husband (whom I hadn't had a lot of time with before due to the job) and we decided to sell our house, and get property in Missouri! We bought a camper and planned on staying in that until we got the means to getting us a house built. Now, this could of been an amazing journey! But.... idk.. it didn't pan out that way. Sometimes life takes you a different direction.
So, MAY came around and our house was SOLD!!!! So.. we went looking for a house that was away from where we were, but still close to my husbands work. we got $30,000 cash from our house after the pay off.. and we found only ONE house that was available within our budget (god?) I have a saying that I say when I feel god is responsible for what happens in our lives now, ("I'm pretty sure that was a god thing!") Maybe I say it.. and am awkward about it still? Idk.. I know that my faith has grown tremendously since we have arrived here, so I know we are on the right path. This house was rough when we first moved in.. I actually have a youtube channel called blossom valley ranch and you can check out what I am talking about. I'm also on facebook under Bradley homestead. This house wasn't livable when we got here. We had $10,000 left over to put into it, to make it livable. We got the electric turned on, and lived in our camper for a couple weeks until my husband did his magic and fixed all the plumbing and we cleaned it out, did all the tests it needed done for safety. Then we all moved into the ONE room that was ready to go. lol! All 6 of us were sleeping in what is now, the living room. We will forever have that memory! :) The septic wasn't good.. but we had to deal with that for the time being because our repair money was drained. Once we were somewhat settled, I started writing my book again!!
2020- As you all know.. this year started off, going to be OUR YEAR!! I'm sure yall can relate?? Ya.. then this amazingly small nuisance came into our lives called Covid-19. Now honestly.. it hasn't effected us that bad. My husbands job is considered essential, but for safety they let him take off about a month (which set our bills and plans back a bit)
In March, I finished my book and I published it on amazon! That was one of the best, most satisfying feelings I have ever felt in my entire life. Something I felt I would never be able to do.. I DID IT!
And today, I just completed Day 1, of my LAST class EVER!! In another four weeks, I will have my bachelors degree in business management! It has been a LONG 6 years! That is one chapter in my life closing.
*1st book published ✔️
*Graduate ✔️
*own paid off home ✔️
If you would have talked to me back in 2008 and told me that today I would have all of this accomplished in my life.. I wouldn't believe you!
I share my story with you, to show you that anything is possible! Don't ever think that you cant do what you want to do.. or that what your dreaming of is too far out of reach! Because if you have determination and the will to do it, It will get DONE! You will make it! You can do it!
We can only do what we tell ourselves we can do! If you tell yourself you cant do something.. then you wont do it. You cant have that attitude!
My children are better people because they see that they have a mother who never gives up! Now, that's not saying I'm perfect.. because I'm not! I fail, I have bad days.. I have horrible days.. mood swings, depression still creeps in every now and then..
But its how you handle those situations that matters! If you just crawl into a ball and hide in a corner and let the darkness consume you.. you wont find the light.
But I assure you, once you find the light, the darkness cant touch you! It can try.. it can tempt you.. you have to FIGHT! Let the LIGHT become YOU!!
Jesus has open arms yall, he always an ear away!
All you have to do is take time and pray!
My newest dream, yet has been my lifelong dream.. is owning property.... I know.. I have property.
Not just any property... mountainous acreage property! When I was 15 my dad and I took a trip to Tennessee, and I left a huge chunk of my heart in the mountains! I felt at peace.. and I truly feel that now that I look back on it, god was trying to talk to me then. I feel the most spiritual when I'm in the mountains! And I want to live like that till I'm old and grey!
We don't know exactly what state we are going to grow roots in yet, but we do know that we want to rent out our house here eventually and move to that property and grow all old and stuff together, with our children and our farm animals and huge garden! I sit here and I talk about this now.. and just like in 2008 it seems so far away. But I know now what just a short time can do for someone! Its in gods hands and he knows the desires of my heart!
This was a really long story, and if you stuck around and read it all.. bless your heart and I hope I encouraged and inspired you! With much love, ill see yall next time. -Slbradley
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